What is Social Media Anxiety?

The Real Tea on Social Media, Self-Esteem, and Why Your Feed Isn't Reality 🎭

Written by Stella W.

Picture this: You're scrolling through TikTok at 11pm, and everyone seems to be living their best lives. Even the dogs. There's Z at some party you didn't know about but she also goes to Pilates, drinks chlorophyll, and other green things. Meanwhile, you're in bed with some pajama set that your mom said was smelly, wondering why you can’t have Z’s life.

Plot twist: You're not alone, and their lives aren't actually that perfect. Welcome to the wild world of social media anxiety, where the pressure is real but the posts? Not so much.

What is Going On Here?

●        Social Comparison: That thing where you measure your self-worth against other people's achievements, looks, popularity, or literally anything else.

●        Lack of Self-Esteem: Basically, when you ask yourself if you think you're pretty cool or nah? And you say nah.

●        FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): That panicky feeling that everyone's doing something awesome without you. 

●        DQ (Digital Intelligence): Like IQ, but for navigating the online world without losing your mind. 

Here's the thing: A little comparison is normal. Humans have been doing it since forever. But when you're comparing your real life to those influencer's highlight reels, that's when things get messy.

Why Does Social Media Make Us Feel Like This?

Think about it: when was the last time you posted a pic of yourself crying over homework or having a terrible hair day? Exactly. Nobody posts their L's - just their W's.

Everyone’s showing:

●        The party they went to (not the 10 other nights they stayed home scrolling mindlessly)

●        Their good test grade (not the fact that they studied every day for 8 hours to achieve it)

●        Their relationship goals moment (not the argument they had an hour later)

Myth Buster Alert

✖️Myth: “Everyone else has it all figured out.”

✔️ Fact: Social media is curated and no one’s life is perfect.

School already comes with enough pressure. Grades, figuring out who you are, dealing with drama... Now add the pressure to look perfect online?  No wonder everyone's stressed.

How to Tell If Social Media is Messing With Your Head

You might be dealing with social media anxiety if you:

✔️  Check your notifications every five minutes (or, let's be honest, every five seconds)

✔️ Feel genuinely upset when a post doesn't get enough likes

✔️ Stress about taking the perfect photo instead of enjoying the actual moment

✔️  Feel left out when you see others hanging out without you

✔️  Constantly feel like you're inadequate or jealous

✔️  Constantly feel like you’re just “not enough” aka not pretty enough, not cool enough, etc.

✔️  Beat yourself up over every little thing with that thing called self-criticism

✔️  Start avoiding real-life social situations because they make you anxious

✔️  Base your entire mood on your online engagement

If you're nodding along to at least 3 of these... keep reading.

Why This Matters

This isn't just about the thrill of strangers liking you. Social media anxiety can:

●        Tank your mental health

●        Wreck your friendships (ever ditch real friends to scroll alone?)

●        Kill your grades (hard to focus on studying when you're too busy scrolling)

●        Make you forget what you're really good at

The ironic part? These apps designed to “connect” us can make us feel more isolated than ever. That’s why there’s the ever rising “loneliness crisis.”

How to Deal

1. Take Control of Your Screen Time

You don't have to delete all your apps (unless you want to, then go for it). But maybe try:

●        Setting app limits on your phone

●        Turning off notifications (revolutionary, we know)

●        Having phone-free times, like during meals or before bed

●        Doing a social media detox for a weekend to see how you feel

2. Curate Your Feed

Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. Fill your feed with content that makes you laugh or learn something. (isn’t that what social media was made for anyway?

3. Reality Check Your Thoughts

When you catch yourself comparing, pause and remember: Nobody has figured it all out. We're all just pretending and hoping for the best and it’s okay to love yourself and all those little imperfections (which btw no one else can see.)

4. Focus on IRL You

●        Celebrate your own wins (big or small)

●        Do things just because they make YOU happy, not because they'll look good online

●        Hang out with friends who don't make everything a competition

5. Be Your Own Hype Person

Practice self-compassion: talk to yourself like you'd talk to your best friend. You wouldn't tell your friend they're trash and mean it because they got a B instead of an A, right? So don't say it to yourself.

6. Build Your Squad

Surround yourself with people who:

●        Support your wins instead of getting jealous

●        Like you for who you are, not your follower count

The Bottom Line

Your self-worth doesn't come from:

💜 How many likes you get

💜 Whether you got invited to that party

💜 Looking perfect in every photo

Your self-worth comes from:

🪄  Being authentically YOU

🪄 Being kind to yourself and others

🪄 Your real relationships and experiences